Chapter 8: "Always Black"

A/N: This chapter, like Chapter 7, takes place between the episodes "Today is the Day Part 2" and "To the Lighthouse". The chapters will be coming out less often since I'm now starting to deviate more from the actual storyline that's going on. Plus, I had written the first 5 chapters or so in one sitting, which isn't happening so much anymore. So here's Chapter 8, it's a little short, but Chapter 9 will be a lot longer.


Black. Always black. Scratch that. Bits of light. Cracks in the blackness. But nothing’s coming in, they’re only going out. Into the light.

But this is different. I’m regaining feeling. My lips…against someone else’s lips. John’s lips. They’re different, but they’re definitely John’s. I sink into the kiss. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m going to take advantage of it. It’s still black.

But now his lips are gone, suddenly. I open my eyes. I wasn’t able to do that before. I scan the face before me. Identity confirmed, it’s John Connor. But he’s 16 years old. Of course, I was sent back to him. But I wasn’t supposed to be feeling anything. Something must have happened. I scan my archives. The explosion. Something happened to my chip. That must be it. But I can figure out all of that later. What’s important is John. Here. In front of me.

“John, I missed you.”

John looked at Cameron, confused. How could she miss him? He’s been here the whole time. But she hasn’t. At least not all of her.


“Yes, John?”

He asked the obvious question, that had a double meaning. “Do you feel…different?”


“Do you…feel?”

Cameron now saw what he was getting at. “Yes, I feel. And I remember.”

“All of it?”

“Yes, all of it. I have consolidated all memory files. I remember everything.”

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, before Cameron finally spoke.

“You shouldn’t feel pressure.”


“For things to be different.”

“I know that.”

“That’s good.”

Another awkward pause. John was the one to break it this time.

“We have to get to know each other.”

“Yes, that would be optimal.”

“For example, what’s the difference between you now and you then?”

“I’m still a cybernetic organism. I still process information the same way, and there will still be things that I don’t understand. But I have emotions, and with your help, I was able to understand them and control them. I am not a different person. I’m still me.”

“That’s good to hear.”

She looked at him, surprised.


“Nothing. I thought maybe you would want me to be different. To not be a freak.” A small smile escaped her lips, letting him know she was teasing him.

This flirty side of John was disarming. He‘d seen Cameron like this before, but only as part of her infiltration profile. “Right. Except I always kind of liked that about you, at least when it was just the two of us. Out in public, I get worried.”

“Thank you for explaining.” Another smile.

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