Trust and Hope (cont'd)

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for……………………………………..
*Author’s note- The only type of gun I know anything about is Beretta. And I have no idea if the Beretta Px4 is the type of gun Cameron would use, but it’s my fanfic so I’m giving her my gun. Thanks and please enjoy.

I had finished my perimeter rounds and checked on John before coming down to the dining room. Sitting at the table, varies newspapers spread out in front of me. I was looking for anything that maybe skynet related, a sign, but there was nothing. All was quiet and I was sure that couldn’t be a good thing.
I picked up a newspaper and scanned it quickly; it took me less than a minute, before setting it aside and picking up another. As I scanned over the newspapers one after the next, still not finding anything that pointed to being skynet related, I tried to figure out why it would be so quiet…..The Turk was missing and Cromarties endoskeleton as well. I still believed that agent Ellison had something to do with that, it was the only thing that made logical sense he was the only other person who knew where the endoskeleton had been buried. Derek Reese had no reason to dig Cromartie up; he also did not have the opportunity. So I had been, and was still, certain agent Ellison had been the one, but John……I paused…..John, John cared to much about human life, maybe that was a good thing…….he cared to much about my existence. He had endangered his life to reactivate me. To keep me. That couldn’t be a good thing….Could it?

Movement on the stairs drew my attention up and away from the newspaper and my wayward thought processing. I watch as he walked to where I was sitting, the lights were not on so he must have heard the rustling of the papers as I shuffled them. He bumped into a box that had been sat down just inside the doorway, it was a moving box. John and Sarah had decided it was time to move, and I agreed it was becoming increasingly risky to live here. I didn’t know where we were going, didn’t know if they knew.
“Cameron. What are you doing?”
He knew what I was doing. So why was he asking. I didn’t know but answered any ways. “Scanning the newspapers.”
“You find anything?”
John still hadn’t sat down or had made any move to do so. I watched as he shifted from foot to foot, he was nervous…Why? “Is everything okay John?”
I folded up the paper and proceeded to clear off the table. John still had not moved, I looked back up at him. “John?”
“I need to talk to you about something.” He said as he pulled out the chair opposite me and dropped into.
He needed to talk to me, but why would needing to talk to me make John nervous. John talked to me all the time….no, I corrected, no it had been awhile since John had truly talked to me. John didn’t even seem to like me anymore. Was that my fault? “Okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what John?”
“For not believing you……”
For not believing that didn't I kill Riley. “Why did you go to see her in the morgue?”
Now John looked confused. “Did you go to see her or…”
“I went because I needed to know. Needed to be sure.”
“You had needed conformation. Which means that you did believe me; you just needed to be sure. I understand that.”
He looked as if he didn’t believe me. “You do?”
“I do.”

The dream I had, had been disturbing and had waked me up from what had been a relaxing sleep. I still wasn’t sure what it had been about. All I remember was that she wasn’t there……..
………….I called and called for her and looked around everywhere but I couldn’t find her….
She hadn’t been there.
….Then I was in a forest, it was dark and fog hung low to the ground. And she was there. I had found her, but I wish that I hadn’t.
She was in a hole, covered in thermite. Mom stood over her, flare in hand. She was going to burn her. I tried to go to her, but I couldn’t move. My legs had felt like they were set in cement. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t move…..
…. Couldn’t go to her.
….. Couldn’t stop it.
I tried to scream out. Tried to get mom to stop. Tried…but I couldn’t. No words would come.
So I watched. I had no choice and I watch as she was burned. Watched as she was destroyed. And I couldn’t stop it.
Couldn’t save her…
….tears running uncontrolled down my face as I watched the flames consume her. And then she was gone…It was as if she had never been. Nothing remained of her….
Then the dream changed…and I was running. Running for my life. I knew who, no, what was chasing me. A T-888. I could hear it as it raced after me as I dashed through the trees, the sun high in the sky making me sweat. I ran faster. Harder. Pushing myself. And prayed. Prayed that she would come. That she would save me…but I knew she wouldn’t. Knew she couldn’t…I would have to save myself…
I paused in my tracks; it was in front of me now. But how? How could it have gotten in front of me?
Maybe it hadn’t …Maybe there was two. Maybe…Could be.
I turned, changed my direction and trip…I could hear, It? Them...Getting closer. I looked up and……and then I was awake………….
………The only thing I had thought of, the only thing I had wanted, was to see her. To see for myself that she was still there. And she had been. She was always there…But would she always be? Always be there when I needed her? Always be there when I didn’t believe I did? I wanted to think so, wanted to believe that she would always be there. But I wasn’t sure.
“You do?” I asked.
“I do.” She answered, before continuing to clear the table.
I looked at her. Studied her.
She looked so normal on the outside. Like an average…no I corrected, nothing about Cameron’s looks were average. Were regular….she looked like a normal teenage girl. On the outside.
And it was that, the outside, that made me forget sometimes. Made it hard to remember what she was on the inside.
But she wasn’t. She wasn’t a normal teenage girl.
A Beretta Px4 semi-automatic was on the table before her. And I knew that the shotgun wouldn’t be far. Normal teenage girls didn’t carry those, may not even know how to use one.
Normal teenage girls also couldn’t bench press a truck, I thought to myself a smile curving my lips.
“Cam..” I wait for her attention to come back to me.
“Yes John?”
“There was something else I wanted to speak with you about.”Her attention was on me but I knew that if someone was to come to near that she would know. “About what you said earlier.”
“Earlier? I said a lot of things earlier John.”
Yeah she had. She had said…I stopped myself. She probably hadn’t been talking about that. “Yeah, but I’m talking about in the kitchen. When we came back.”
She understood now, I could see. “About Riley.”
I nodded. “I want, no, need to find out who killed her.” I looked her straight in the eyes. “I need you to help me. I need your help.”
“Of course I’ll help you John. Do you know where we should start?”
I had an idea. “Riley talked to someone. Trusted someone.”
“Trusted them with what John?”
With her secrets. With Mexico. “Does that matter now Cam?”
“No. I guess it doesn’t. Do you think this person she trusted may have killed her. Or may know who did?”
“It’s my best guest.”
“Do you know who this person is?”
“No. But mom talked to some guidance counselor who knew more than she should. If Riley talked to her about those things, maybe Riley talked to her about who she trusted.”
“Okay, we should start there. Your mom may still have the number.”
“Yeah but I don’t think she’ll be willing to talk to us.”
Cameron tilted her head a little. “Why not?”
“Confidentiality agreements or what not.” I thought it through. “But she was from our old school. We could find her through there.”
“John we can’t go to the school. That is too big of a risk. I can’t allow that.”
“Fine. I’ll hack into the system. They keep files on employees that contains their address. We find out where she lives. Stake it out and take it from there.”
Cameron nodded, apparently satisfied.
It was silent after that. A comfortable silence that was soon broken by Cameron.
“Why did you wake up John? You should have slept for at least another three hours and 35 minutes.”
Because I needed to see you. “ My throat was so dry it woke me. I came down to get something to drink.”
“Would you like me to get you something to drink.”
“Thanks but I’ll get it.”
She studied me. “You look tired. Let me…”she stood. “How about some tea. Your mom packed up almost everything in the kitchen. But I know where everything is.”
I opened my mouth to refuse again, but stopped. It would probably take me a long time to find out where mom had packed everything. Cameron already knew. “Sure thanks…Cam” I said stopping her.
She turned around as soon the words were out of my mouth.
“How do you know where everything is?”
She smiled slightly. “I don’t sleep.” She said simply before turning and going into the kitchen.
I didn’t take her long to come back, carrying a mug with her. She sat it in front of me before returning to her seat. “You should try to go back to sleep John. You look tired. You need your rest.”
Yeah, but I didn’t want to sleep. Didn’t want to close my eyes. I was afraid if I did I would lose her again.
I didn’t want to lose her.
It hadn’t been my fault. The mission had gone badly and it hadn’t been my fault.
It wasn’t Connor’s either.
It was the metal bitch. It was her fault. She was to blame.
She had twisted Connor’s mind. Kept him from anyone else.
It was her fault….
….and the box. That wasn’t on me. It wasn’t.
I had told them not to open it. They hadn’t listened.
And then…and then. Then Hell came. Hell came out of the box….God what happened, I stopped myself from thinking that…I wouldn’t think about it. I Wouldn’t. It wasn’t my fault…It wasn’t.
The metal bitch had told Connor he needed it. That’s why we went there. That’s why my crew was sent there. Because of her.
And this was her fault to….The bitch…this was her fault. My plan was ruined because of that tin-can.
If she had done her duty. If she had done what she was supposed to and protected Connor none of this would have happened.
She should have killed Riley. She had become a high security threat to John, I made sure of that. So she should have killed her. SHE SHOULD HAVE KILLED HER…
But she didn’t.
What the hell was that about? The metal just let her go. That shouldn’t have happened. She was supposed to protect him from any and all threats and yet she didn’t kill Riley even knowing she was becoming an increasing threat.
I stopped my thoughts in its tracks…it didn’t matter why? It only mattered that she didn’t.
Now…Now I didn’t know what to do.
I should run. Before Connor started looking for me. Maybe he already had.
But Derek…
What would Derek do if I told him what I had done. If I told him what I had done and asked him to come with me?
Would he…? I stopped myself again.
He wouldn’t he was appalled at the thought of a innocent girl dying…But she hadn’t been innocent, not really she hadn’t….If I told Derek about Riley. If I told him the truth about her maybe he would see. Maybe he would feel different…Maybe. Maybe…But no. No he would get angrier. Be more disgusted with me. Derek was a good man. He wouldn’t approve. No matter my motivation, he might even tell Connor. Leave me to the metal…no…no Derek wouldn’t do that.
Would he? I couldn’t be sure. Couldn’t be certain. And I needed to be certain if I was going to tell him. So I had to run, and I couldn’t tell Derek. Couldn’t ask him to come with me.
But if I left without letting him know would he get suspicious? Would he tell Connor about me? Would he come for me?
I didn’t know.
But maybe if I told him I was going back…back to fight the war. That I had had enough time to relax and I was going back…Maybe that would work. Maybe…I didn’t know but I had to figure it out fast. Connor would soon start looking for Riley’s killer. Looking for me and I had made a mistake. A mistake that hadn’t looked like a mistake at the time. At the time it had been part of the plan. But now it was a mistake.
I had talked to Sarah. And she would have told John. Told him she had spoken to a guidance counselor from his school. So he’d look there and he wouldn’t find her. But that wouldn’t stop him. That would make him more curious. More suspicious. And if Sarah talked to Derek. Told him about me, the guidance counselor. It might make him think…think about me…I had made mistakes with him to I was now realizing. My reaction when he told me Riley was dead. When he told me the cyborg did it.
He had asked me then. Asked me if I had thought it through.
I said no. That I had of course thought about and he seemed to take that. I distracted him when he later seemed to be thinking it through. But if Sarah talked to him…
I had to leave. Run. I had no choice.
I had no choice.

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